This post might fall a little into the judge not lest you be judged category so say it with me right now, won’t you please? Different house. Different rules. Different family. Different ideas. Actually that different house, different rules is a good mantra to have as your kids get older. It also helps keep the judging out of the forefront. I do what works for my family and you do what works for yours and that works well for all of us.
Have you ever heard someone say how “they just want to give them everything they want” when talking about their children. Ugh. I must be an ogre because I absolutely do not want my children to get everything they want. Do I want them to be happy? Of course. Do I want them to be content? Again, of course.
Do I want them to have everything they want? Nope.
I actually would like them to experience a small bit of sorrow , failure, and missing out on occasion (even if it pains me to watch it). I want them to know that they can exist without the latest greatest toys and gadgets even if ALL of their friends have them. I want them to know how to wait. I’m still struggling with that waiting and being patient thing as an adult so I know it won’t be easy for them. I want to give them the tools to get everything they want as well as they tools to cope with it when they find out they probably aren’t going to get everything they want every time even when they do try to work hard.
I want to give them everything they need not everything they want. I want to teach them to be content with what they have and to appreciate what others in life do give them. I want them to value integrity above winning. I want them to value people over possessions. I want them to know that who they are matters a whole lot more than what they own.
*I feel like I need to qualify this post by stating that I’m not one of those only give my kids things at their birthdays and Christmas kind of people (oh, to have that discipline!) and my boys have plenty of things (too many by my standards and not enough by theirs) and I probably say “yes” a lot more often than I say “no” so I’m far from perfect in always following those ideals listed above.
**This post is part of the 31 Days of Putting My Family First Series.